Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was born a porn star she said
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
