what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
