Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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