So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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