ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
