Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
