i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worst night to have a conscience
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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