He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
