You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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