when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
