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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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