why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
