jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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