id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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