I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
