I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
