i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
