As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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