She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
