I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
