idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
