??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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