If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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