Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
