so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
