You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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