I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
