Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
