this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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