My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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