i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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