why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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