spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
