good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.