The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
