I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
