So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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