Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
