im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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