he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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