i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
