Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize