I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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