fuck your aforementioned shoe
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
