oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
