I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize