It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I cut my penus on the lid.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We left an ass print on the piano.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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