I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sober January is a disaster.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
