That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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