I want to stick my p in your. b.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
