We're facebook friends in real life
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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