Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
