I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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