I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
