Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize