Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
