you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
