i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
