"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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