if only i could text you this smell
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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